The way it could have gonebut didn't
by Einna Aroura Du'an
Summary: The way things went in my world. Jack sets off from New Mecca to find Riddick...can she do it?
1. The way it could have gonebut didn't

The way it could have gone…but didn't

AN – Woops, I just realized I posted this minus the Summery etc first time around! (Smacks hands). Oh well, let's try again!

Summery – AU. What could have happened. Jack sets off to find Riddick…will she?

Disclaimer – I own nothing you recognize. In fact, I don't even own the stuff you don't recognize, cause loads of the 'unrecognized' stuff is actually from the DVD bonus footage. In short, I own Shit. That's about all.

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The skiff crash landed in the suburbs of New Mecca five days gone. The Holy man and the kid jumped ship to start their new lives while I left to continue mine.

I'll not lie, even just to myself. I didn't wanna leave the kid alone. We've barely met two months passed, but that good-bye way harder on her than anything I think she's been through in a long time.

Sad fact is, it was hard on me, too.

But there ain't no fuckin' way I'll admit that.

Not even to myself.

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Five days.

Five days' he's been gone. Five days, we've been here, on this planet. The place where I had always intended to be. Five days, I've had a home again.

Five day, young Jack has not eaten nor slept. She barely speaks to me, or to anyone else. I hardly see her. When she is not in her room, she's out. Where she goes and what she does, I haven't a clue. I should worry, and I do. This place is not safe. Riddick seemed to think that if he left, it would ensure her safety. The opposite in fact. Without him her to keep her out of trouble, who knows what she might do to herself.

Allah have mercy on that poor child.

She is twelve years old; she should not have to carry the burden of her first kill alone, as she seems to insist on doing. The lack of support Riddick showed her on the trip from the Mercenary ship that picked us up to here disgusted me, yet, sadly, it was not unexpected.

Young Jack has left again now. She never stays in this home for more than a few hours at a time. It's almost as if the walls have become her cage, and she thinks that Riddick will always be just on the other side of those bars.

Does she dream of looking for him? Is that why she leaves?

She will never find him.

And she knows it.

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I've been running in circles for hours now. The alleys all look the same, and I know I should be lost. I probably am, but I'll find my way back. I always find my way back. It's just not to what I wish it could be to.

I always make my way back to Imam's home. Why can I not find my way in all my hours out here to wherever Riddick is? I know he didn't leave straight away. Why can I not find him?

Doesn't he know I'm looking for him?

Or does he know, just not care? No, that can't be it. He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't leave if he knew I wanted to go with him. He's probably still here, somewhere. Making sure we're okay, waiting for me to find him.

He wouldn't leave.

Where are you Riddick?

Where are you?

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I'm here.

Another God forsaken hell-planet. Almost makes me wish I were back in the brightness of New Mecca. One thing I never liked was the cold.

But then, this is the last place they'd think to look for me. Any of them. Mercs…enemies…alleys…none of them will find me here.

Yet.

So I set and I wait. And my mind drifts rebelliously to her.

I never said good-bye to her. It wasn't what we wanted, either of us. I stayed a few hours, and then just left. I never un-loaded the skiff, so she knew that I would leave again. I never said the words to her. But when I told her and Imam that I was gonna go get a lay of the land, she knew. I could see it in her face when she told me to be careful, that the Mercs might have followed us.

I never said good-bye, and I don't regret it.

And I don't regret leaving.

I don't regret leaving her there. It was for her own safety, she's safer with Imam, away from me.

I don't regret keeping her safe.

I did the right thing. For once in my fuckin' life, I did what was right. I saved her. Again.

So why did she look at me like that?

Why did her face tell me when I left the home they'd found for themselves that she was more afraid than she had been even on T2.

Was she afraid of me? That I'd get hurt? That I wouldn't be there if they were attacked.

Yeah.

That must've been it.

I don't regret it.

I do not regret it.

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Yesterday, Jack spoke to me for the first time since we have arrived here. She asked me if I knew where Riddick had gone to, said she'd searched the entire city and hadn't found him.

I knew she wouldn't.

She still won't.

I told her that I did not know where he was.

She accused me of lying to her; in some rather vehement terms I would rather Riddick had not taught a child her age. I told her again that I didn't know where he was or what he planned to do.

"Then help me to find out," she had pleaded. "Help me, Imam."

I told her that I could not. That we should both forget about him and move on with our lives. She reminded me, however, that without him, we would not have lives to move on with.

"That is true," I told her, "But Jack, if you leave now, you will not have a life to move on with even so. You will spend it searching for a dream you will not find."

She did not adhere to that comment as well as I hoped.

"Riddick is not coming back," I tried to tell her. "He would not want you to waste away on this planet."

Still, she did not listen. In fact, quite the opposite.

She left again.

And in over twenty hours, she has not returned.

I hope she knows what she's doing.

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I have no idea what I'm doing.

Well, I know what I'm doing. I'm hailing down a Merc ship. Probably following Riddick through. Or they could be making a routine check, or recruiting, or recuperating. But they're probably here for him.

Only he's not here, you bastards. Did you not notice?

Either way, when they leave this planet, I'll be going with them.

I know Riddick will probably come back when he finds out, even if just to kill me, but I don't care, so long as he comes back.

I killed for him.

What is it to die for him?

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End Notes – All those who read my fic before I re-posted will notice that this chapter has grown…I actually, cheated, chapter two just got stuck on the end as my way of saying sorry.

New Chapter two comin soon (WITH Summery and authors notes, etc.)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Summery – Same old, same old.

Feedback – Come on, people! It's not that hard! Tell me it's great, tell me its fine, tell me it sucks necromonger go-nads, I don't care! JUST PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!

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Two years.

Two fuckin' years I've been sitting on this rock. Waiting.

I know they won't find me here. I've hidden well, it's what I do.

So now I wait.

And I try to ignore the thoughts which keep fuckin' with my head.

I can't help but think of her. I can't help wanting to go back, just to see how she is.

But I know. I know that if I go back, I can never leave again. What if I go back and there's a Merc ship on my tail? What if I put them in danger?

No.

It's better to just sit.

And wait.

I wonder how she's doing.

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She's here.

Two years ago, we fought. Two years ago, she left, searching for a man who could never understand how much he hurt her. Two years ago, I feared she was dead.

And now she's back.

I know that wherever she's come from, she's been running. She must have been eager to get back.

"Imam," she greets me. Her voice is different now, stronger, deeper. She has grown, in every way. Except one. She still wears the same baggy clothes, thread-bare and worn now. Still trying to pass yourself off as a boy, Jack?

I take a step towards her in greeting, but she takes two backwards.

"Imam, I can't stay." She tells me. My heart sinks. "They'll be looking for me in a few hours."

I have to ask her: "They?"

She gives a gesture somewhere between a nod and a shrug, and I do not ask again.

I know what she wants now, why she's here.

"Imam," she begins again, "tells me where he is."

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I already know that for the results I want, I'll have to play the pity card. But I know how badly that would hurt holy man, and I'm not too jazzed about the idea either.

"I can't," he tells me.

Oh well, desperate times.

I pull my own grey sweatshirt over my head to reveal a complex criss-cross of scars covering every available inch of my skin. Holy Man looks completely shocked, like he could feint or something. He makes a few steps towards, me, but I just back.

I'm not that bothered about getting my scars out for him…god knows I've had to play the same card over the last few months just to get back here. But still, this is Imam…and the look on his face, the knowledge that I've hurt him…damn, I feel like shit.

"Imam…" I don't know what to say. So I don't.

"I went looking. I didn't know where I was going, so I just signed up with the first ship which came into dock. "

"Which was?"

I pause, and for a moment, I consider just taking off again. I grab the sweat-shirt and begin to pull it back over my head.

"A Merc ship." I tell him quietly. "I signed on with a Merc ship."

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"You..."

So, this must be the infamous Jack.

From what I heard she was an ungrateful child, nothing Imam did was enough. She left the home he offered her as soon as she got to it.

I love my husband dearly, and I know I should listen to him when he tells me that she was a lovely girl, just confused, but I cannot understand why she would refuse what was so openly given to her. And now she's back here, upsetting my poor Imam.

"I joined on with them because I told them that I could help them find Riddick. If they found the planet, I could bring him out of hiding. They took me on, and I thought they'd bought it. They said they knew where Riddick was, and they'd take me on, because I claimed I could bring him out of hiding, blah blah, all that shit." I see Imam flinch at the use of the profanity, but the child seems ignorant to it. "They slaved me out in less than a month. Rykangolls. Of course, imagine what they did."

He gestures to the girls now covered arms.

"They did that?" He asks, and I hear the pain in his voice.

"No." the girl tells him. "They did worse."

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She's safe now. Both of them are. Even if they hate men for leaving, even if she's still waiting for me to come back, at least she can.

At least she's safe, and at least no one can hurt her now.

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I know what my face must look like, and I imagine it would not be much differant if she had suddenly burst into glorious song.

I try to repeat the words, to ensure I heard them correctly, but the words won't come.

She's fourteen years old.

Why would she allow this to happen?

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"I tried to tell you, Imam."

I know that my words have hit home with him, and I know that he is feeling guilty as hell now. That wasn't what I wanted, but I know it's the only way to make him tell me.

"I tried to tell you. I could not stay here. I had to find him, Imam, I had to try."

"You tried," he tells me. "And you failed. Give up while you still can."

I shake my head.

"I will not give up, Imam. I will keep looking for him. If need be, I'll even stay with the Mercs."

His face falls. He is torn between telling me and trying to make me stay. I can see it in his face.

"You won't talk me out of leaving, Imam." I tell him. "At least tell me where I'm going. If I know where he is, then I can jump merchant transports until I get there. I'll be safe, Imam."

Still torn.

"Imam, please."

Still nothing.

"Imam, I will leave with them tonight if you don't tell me where he is."

He glares at me. He knows I'm black-mailing him, and he hates me for it. But he knows Riddick will kill him if I'm hurt.

"I know where he is," he tells me at last.

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End Notes – Just one, but it's important.

REVIEW!

Thanks for listening!


	3. Chapter 3up nice and quick, just for you...

Chapter 3

AN - Not as long as I would have liked, but hey, "I'm with you" was demanding to be written. BTW, you may wanna get your patoolas over to read it if you're reading this one, it'll make the next few chapters of this make more sense…give you a better insight into Jack/Kyra's mind and that.

Disclaimer – You people tryin to kill me? 'Cause if I have to keep admitting I don't own Riddick, I may have to start believing it, and if I believe it, I may just go take a sixty foot swallow dive outta window! SOB!

Warning – Riddick POV, what do you expect? Lots of naughty words. Advanced warning though, the next chapter will deal with Jacks experience at the hands of the Rykangolls (if you don't know what they are, go read "I'm with you") and will imply and discuss torture and rape, although it will not go into detail. And it won't just be about Jack either… (Zips mouth closed before revealing too much).

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The junk runner's touching down on planet side again. The tiny merchant ship comes once or twice a month to dump its waste onto this rock, away from all other civilization.

All save me. Only I don't count.

Most of its just sludge and crystals, worthless bi-products from what is being made in the factory. But sometimes, the products that they make but can't sell are thrown into the crates as well. Junk most of it. Useless. But I check anyway. Things can always be broken down and re-used. Burnt out power conduits can be re-charged by one of the bi-products over time. They're not very effective, but they start fires well enough. Also, the empty crates make good homes for creatures over time. The places this are left become hunting grounds for predators, and therefore hunting grounds for me.

I shift amongst the shit the runner's left behind, and find nothing of interest.

Except...

A glimmer of metal catches my eye...a familiar scent, masked by another.

Jack's Shiv.

I pick it up and jump onto one of the crates.

I can't see her.

But she's here.

I can hear her heart. I scan the area, and I hear the pace increase as I scan some of the creates on the far end of the dump-ground.

I jump down off of the crate and head towards her.

I know where she is.

I can hear her, smell her.

It's an animal thing.

It's saved my life.

And I have never been happier to have it.

I stop five feet from her hiding spot.

A shift of snow.

I flick of dark hair.

Jack.

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"Are you gonna sit there in the cold all day, Jack?"

"Shit," I mutter. He's seen me. There's my first test failed.

"Come out," he calls.

I stand and look at him. Just look. His hair's longer, and he has a beard more or less the same length. I smile as I realize his hair is the same length as mine now.

His voice is gravelly, as though he hasn't used it in a long time. I mentally kick myself. Of course he hasn't used it in a long time, who the fuck's he been talking to here?

But he doesn't seem so different.

If only I could say the same. So much has changed…so much _is _different.

"I told you to stay in New Mecca."

That's all he has to say for himself?

I open my mouth to snap something foul at him, but he's already turned away, and I'm left staring at his retreating back once more.

_Go after him…_part of my brain dictates. Only a small part, but that part which is much akin to a whining seven year old. It must be listened to.

I wait until he's up ahead a little, before I begin after him.

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I know she's following me...from a distance, of course, but she's doing it. I don't know whether or not she's trying to remain hidden or not, but it doesn't matter. She's still here. She's here...she shouldn't be. Why the fuck _is _she? I left her in New Mecca for a reason...I wanted to keep her safe, and she's safe away for me. I changed; I'll admit it, but the rest of the universe? Yeah fuckin' right. To them, I'm still Richard B. Riddick. Escaped convict. Murderer. It was once a title I was proud of, but now? Now I wish I could just remove it. Like a badge showing my rank in the military, like I could just take it off.

I wish that I didn't have to run anymore.

I wish I could just forget that my life happened. Yeah. That's what I want.

I wanna wake up tomorrow morning and think I was someone else. Ash something. Or Brian. Something simply and pathetic and normal. The muscles are just something I got to impress my girlfriend and then decided I like, and the infinite scars I have are from fights I got in when I was a kid.

And Carolyn would be there…

I'd wake up, a normal man, beside his normal girlfriend.

And Jack would be there. She's wake up believing she was...I don't know. Not my daughter. That's just...not something I can do. Hear a child call me 'dad'. Niece maybe? Younger sister?

I don't care.

But for it to be real...I would give anything for it to be real.

I got back to the cave I settled in. It's my home. Well, the place I live, the place I sleep in relative safety. The skiff's still there. Doesn't work any more, but it's warmer and safer than sleeping out in the open, or even in the cave. There are some big hairy mother fuckers around, and I personally do not relish the idea of waking up dead.

She's here,

I can see her, standing outside of the cave, snow flying around her. When did it start snowing again? S'not like me to be so unaware of my surroundings.

She doesn't know whether to come in or stay out, but she doesn't want to run, and she doesn't want to speak.

She knows that no matter what she does, it'll be wrong.

She shouldn't even be here.

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I can't believe this…here I stand, having found him at last, and I almost wanna _apologise _to the bastard for coming as much as I wanna kick his ass for makin' me come!

But I had to come. He has to understand that.

I wish he could understand that even though I may be safer away from him, I was no where near as happy. Why the hell else would I have left looking for him? Why else would I have done what I did…?

I know he's seen me, and I know he's waiting for me to make the first move, just as I'm waiting for him.

_Sorry, Riddick _I think. _Privilege of childhood. I get to wait for you. _

We both know he'll give first, and so we're both waiting until he's ready. It's a game I grew to know well on the skiff on the way from the Kublah Kahn to New Mecca. There are very few limits to what he'll do, especially for the right person, but he'll have to do it in his own time. He came back for us on T2...in his own time. He saved me in the Kublah Kahn...in his own time. He was even a complete softy one night when we were on our way to New Mecca and I couldn't sleep, haunted by the face of the woman I killed on _that bloody ship_...my first kill. I woke in a cold sweat, my heart racing. Imam was asleep, but Riddick wasn't. He swung his legs off of his bed and came over to sit on mine.

"You okay?" He asked.

I didn't know whether he was being polite or whether he actually cared...I mean, come on, this is Riddick here. Politeness and caring are completely alien to him.

I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing.

I don't know what he thought or how he took it, but for a long while, we just sat there. I think he knew what was bothering me, and I even think he wanted to help, but he didn't know how.

Eventually, he gave up. He stood up to go back to bed, and I wanted nothing more than to call him back. Well, not true. I wanted him to see me as not a child, not someone who needed sheltering and protecting and _babying, _and that's why I didn't call.

But he knew.

He stopped a few feet away, and told me;

"I realise it doesn't come as much consolation, but for what it's worth you saved my life. Take what comfort you can from that."

And I did.

I killed.

But it was for him. Therefore, it was worth it.

He's worth anything back then.

_And he still is…_

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I'm not worth her safety.

I'm not even worth the affection she keeps showing for me. It's why I left.

"You should have stayed gone," I tell her eventually.

"You should never have left me there." She accused.

"I had my reasons." I try to defend, but I know they amount to shit on her.

"They weren't good enough, whatever they were!" She shouted.

"You know shit about why I left." I spit out. It's not true. I know it's not true. She might only be a child, but much as I hate to admit it, she does know me. Better than anyone else alive, in fact. Better than Imam, despite his years and wisdom. There are some things you can't understand until you've done them.

Like murder.

"You gonna just sit out there, Jack?" I ask eventually.

I almost _hear _her annoyance, and wonder what the hell I did wrong. She doesn't say anything, though.

"You don't want me in there."

"Well I ain't gonna let you fuckin' freeze to death out there." Stupid kid.

But she still won't come in.

"I'm not coming in that cave with you," she tells me before she turns to walk away. What the hell is this kid doin'?

"Fine then," I call after her as I jog out of the cave and past her. "You stay. I'll fuck off into the cold."

She tries to grab my arms as I walk past, but I shrug it off.

"I'm sorry, okay!" she shouts after me. I hadn't realised she was crying, but her voice did nothing to hide it. I stopped as she continued.

"I wanted you to be glad that I was back. I wanted you to want me to be here! But you..."

"What did you expect?" I cut her off. "If I wanted you around me, I wouldn't have left you with the Holy Man."

I don't know what to do. I don't want to face her, but I hate having my back to someone I'm fighting with.

I feel her coming up behind me, and I don't walk away. I don't even want to.

"I just didn't want to be alone again."

"You weren't alone," I snap. "Imam was there, and fuck knows Holy man's better at all this daddy shit than me. I don't have a kid, because I don't want a fuckin' kid. I don't want a family, I never did. All that hugs and kisses shit, fuck it. It's not what I want."

As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret them. I ain't a softy, and I ain't a family man, I never was, but although I won't admit it, not even to the kid, I do want...something.

"I don't want a family either, Riddick." she tells me. She doesn't mean it, though. I've met kids like her before...shit I used to be one. "I just don't wanna be alone. Imam was there, but he doesn't...understand. Even you don't, you can't."

"You don't know what I understand."

"Do you understand what it's like to be tortured into murder?" she asks harshly. I spin on her. She couldn't mean...

"Care to explain?" I ask, so quiet I doubt she hears me. I know why it is I barely ask the question…I don't want to have to hear the answer.

But I gotta know what happened to her.

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End Notes – As I mentioned already, next chapter gets a little more intense. You have been warned. Though I know what I'm like. I'm a bloody softy…probably the worst thing I'll actually describe is a stumped toe or something.

Review! I ain't up-dating until I get three reviews, so get to it!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Disclaimer – I own nout, can I return to the fantasy now?

AN – Okay, here goes the nasties…

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"Not really," I refuse to turn my eyes away from him, a trick he taught me himself. Drive the message home better if you can believe it and look into someone elses eye. But for no other reason should you make eye contact with your enemy, and not even with your friends, because you shouldn't have any.

Doesn't mean he doesn't though.

He looked me in the eye once while he was sad...on the skiff leaving T2, when I asked what to tell them about Riddick.

_Tell them Riddick's dead, _he told me, and he turned to look me, dead in the eye. _I died somewhere on that planet._

In that moment, that split second, I knew it to be true. I had seen his eyes before then, studied them, even, but then, something was…different. The murderous glint I'd seen when he replied "Which half?" to Imams enquiry of "Where's Johns?" had turned into the same soft warmth I'd seen when his face appeared in the cave entrance.

She did it. I know she did. Carolyn Fry did what the rest of the universe had failed to do.

She had stopped Richard B. Riddick...escaped convict...murderer. She changed him.

Riddick was a man. Just a man. She knew that.

And in that moment, I knew it too.

And I never forgot.

"Shall we get out of the cold?" His voice is softer now, gentle. Like it was during those nights on the skiff.

I nod, and we head back towards the cave together.

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Middle of the night, back in the skiff. Jack's sleepin' in her old bed, and her old nightmares. Or some new ones, I ain't sure. She's not movin' or makin' a sound, but I know she's dreamin'. She'll hold her breath a minute or two, then gasp for air, her face'll change sometimes, her arm or leg'll twitch. She's dreaming of something new, I'm pretty sure of it. Before, the dreams were of that hell-bitch...what was her name? The Merc who insisted I was an artist, wanted to flash freeze me for her own collection. She would have settled for killing me, though. She couldn't have me, so she'd kill me. Hell, I can understand that.

When the kid dreams of her, her hands clench, her finger flexes against an imaginary gun and its' imaginary trigger.

I don't know whether I should wake her up or not. On the skiff heading to New Mecca, I never did. She woke on her own. Then again, the dreams are a little different now.

Would I want someone to wake me up? Fuck no. But then, I ain't her. I'd rather have the nightmare than the awkward part when someone wakes you up and neither of you know what to do or to say. But the kid used to want me around when she woke up. I watched her a couple of times when she woke up alone and she thought I was asleep. I used to be able to watch her, even when she was watching me. Even when I couldn't see her, I'd feel the weight of her stare and know she was watching me. I'd hear her breath hitching and I knew she was crying. The nights I got up and went to her were better. There were no tears, just sad silence. A strange kind of comfort...not comfort exactly. Comfort is something a soft bed and warm pillows give you. Strength? I was her weapon from the nightmares, she told me once. I suppose that's the same thing. I gave her the strength to not be afraid of them.

Euck. What the hell does that sound like? Like I'm goin' soft or something.

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_Four Rykangolls surrounded a small child, a shaking girl with her hands tied together and her legs bound at the ankles and knees, short, fluffy hair spiked up here from fear, plastered down there by sweat. Eyes wide and mouth tiny, she waits. She knows what's coming. _

_"I new one," one of the...creatures...grunted. _

_"A child..." his companion added, licking his lips. _

_Number three slipped behind the girl, and pushed her forwards hard with the toe of his hobbed boot. She cried out as she falls onto her face, and the small group laughed. _

_"A screamer!" One of them calls out gleefully. "We got us a screamer!"_

_One of them approached the girl just as she was getting back up onto her feet, a cruelly carved knife glittering in his hand._

_"Let's see if we can get our money's worth out of this one."_

_Jack screamed._

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I knew it would happen in its' own sweet time. The kid bolts upright in her bed, a cry makin its' way up, but not out. She bit it back at the last minute. I wait until after she's ripped her shiv out from under her pillow and looked around before I try to make a move. Last thing I want is to get attacked.

I try talkin' to her, but she doesn't respond to her name.

I swing my legs off of my bed and take a few steps towards her.

"Jack?"

"No," she replies. I'm about to ask what the hell she's on about, when she continues. "Jack died a long time ago. She was weak...she couldn't cut it. I'd have died if it was left to her."

Shit.

Shitshitshitshitshit.

I know what happened to her. I know what could 'kill' a girl like her…hell, it'd kill anyone. Everyone who is the way me and her are are that way for a reason. Each and every one of us was tortured out of our minds in our own ways. I know what she means, that Jack died, because I did it once too. The person you are can't keep on being that person in the life they've been dealt. They have to change, fast and radically, or they will die. It's that simply. And it happened to Jack.

What the hell do I say to that?

"I'm sorry."

She looks at me with a sad smile.

"For what?"

_Where the fuck do I start? Sorry for leaving, sorry for not taking you with me, sorry for not tellin' you where I was goin' so you could find me if you needed to, sorry for not sayin' goodbye...sorry for it all._

I shrug.

"Just sounded like the right thing to say."

I sit down beside her.

"What was the dream about?" I ask her. I know she won't tell me, but I ask her anyway.

"Nothing," she replies. Just as I knew she would.

"You should tell me, you know." I try again. "It's not good to keep things like that bottled up." Well, it's true. It's just that I never really paid much attention to that particular pearl of wisdom.

"Why the hell do you care?" She snaps. "I though you were one of those big bad-ass show-no-weakness-shed-no-tears kinda guys."

"I am. But that doesn't mean you gotta be."

Now ain't that just the dumbest thing I could've said? If there's anything'll make her want to be like it, it's me tellin' her that I'm like that.

"I can be."

Told ya.

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"Jack..." I hate that name. It's what I was, what I didn't want to be. I'm not her anymore, I'm new. I know who I am...

"No!"

I know, I shouldn't have yelled at him, but seriously, I'm tryin to make a point here.

"What, then?" He's tryin. Stayin' calm as you like. I thought he would have shivved me by now. "What do you want me to call you?"

Shit. I never did think of that.

"Kyra," I tell him. A girl I knew when I was younger. I always liked that name.

"Kyra then. Let me tell you a story." He faces dead ahead, staring into space, and begins. "Once upon a time, there was this kid. He never knew his parents; he never even knew his home world. He was grabbed off of it by a nut-case woman when he was a baby. When he was twelve, he went to this foster home. This woman. She already had one foster kid, a daughter...Brenna." He stops there, just for a moment. Anyone else probably wouldn't have noticed it...or the way his jaw tightened when he said her name. "The kids got close. Then a few months later, the woman got a boyfriend...Richard. The boyfriend was all right to begin with. To begin with. He started beatin' on the kids. Girl the worst. But the boy...he got beat nearly to death a half dozen times." He looks at me then, and I look straight back. Just like in the skiff. "Why do you think that was?"

I shrug.

"Come on, _Kyra, _why do you think Mr. Bad-ass 'I-wanna-be-just-like-him' Riddick let himself get beaten on like that? Bearin' in mind he was two years older than you were when whatever the hell it was happened to you happened."

I shrug again.

"Because...he was...a KID! Kids are young, they're weak, they need protectin'. No one was there to keep me safe, that's not my fault. It's my problem, yeah, but it's not my fault. And it's not your fault either. None of this is."

Fuck.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be the same straight up ass hole that he was last time I knew him. He was supposed to be easy to hate for what he did. But it's almost as if he's a different person.

Shit, maybe he is.

But so am I.

"What happened in the end?"

He looks away again as he tells me:

"She died." He tells me softly "He killed her. So I killed him."

His voice is differant again now. Is that what I sound when I talk about my first kill? I don't know. I never did it. His voice is soft, gravely. If it was anyone else, I'd think he was about to cry.

"I'm sorry."

He turns to me, smiling sadly.

"For what?"

_Where do I start? I'm sorry you were left when you were a baby, I'm sorry you never knew your parents, I'm sorry you had to end up with him, I'm sorry she died..._

"It shouldn't have happened."

We sat there for a long time, just sitting, thinking of what we'd learned. I don't think all of what I heard could actually fit into my head. I always thought he was some kind of super-hero. Some kind of guy, who would never take that from anyone, never let it happen.

But he was, and he did.

But suddenly, I noticed something.

"What's your real name, then?

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End Note - Not as long as it was gonna be, but hey…I figured I might just have fans out there waitin' for an update. Besides, I wanna see if anyone works out the story behind his name. It's obvious if you look for it. I guess no one will, but hey…so long as you review, I ain't that bothered.

End Note 2 - I just realised that I've already told you the name…check out 'Family'.


	5. Chapter five

Chapter 5

Summery – It's short, but sweet. I just wanted to get it out before the weekend.

Disclaimer – Don't own, don't sue.

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Where the hell did that come from?

"Huh?"

She looks up at me again and says "You said you never knew your parents. So who named you?"

Gotta laugh at that.

"I named myself. I don't know what my real name was. Don't know if I even have one."

"So where did the Richard B. Riddick come from?"

"Richard after the boyfriend, so I never forget why I am who I am. The rest is from my foster-sister. Brenna Riddick."

She nods again, looking away as she absorbs what she's hearing.

After a few moments, she turns around again.

"You're middle name's Brenna!"

"Brendon, if anyone has to know." I tell her defensively. "But yea. Sorta secretly."

"Sweet."

"I just knew that when she died, she'd be forgotten. Sent to a mass-grave planet and given a number. Another kid no one wanted. Calling myself Richard B. Riddick was a way of making sure she'd never be forgotton...and neither would her killer."

It's strange. I never told anyone any of this. Not the authorities when they asked if I'd seen anyone in the house that night. Not when they asked me if I had seen anything 'strange' around the last few weeks. Even when they asked if Richard had every hurt Brenna or me, I kept my mouth shut. I told them that Marli, my foster mother, had been sweet and loving, and that her boyfriend was a nice guy.

We were just a normal family.

I was just a normal kid.

"Riddick?"

Shit. I forgot she was even there…ain't that what I'm supposed to be good at not doing?

"Yeah, kid?"

"Rykangolls."

Shit.

I ain't met that many Rykangolls in my life, but the ones I did meet were nasty mother fuckers. Good for target practise, though. They were always looking to do some damage. And I know what they do to the people they can over power.

I know what they did to her.

"Are they dead now?" He asks softly.

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I nod. I don't think I really trust my voice to speak right now.

He doesn't say anything else, and I'm relieved and worried at the same time. I don't want him to be pissed at me, but at the same time, I'm glad he's not asking any more questions.

"Are you mad?" I ask eventually.

"Not at you."

He shakes his head, and I think his eyes are closed behind his goggles. I didn't even know he's put them back on.

The silence settles in again, both the comforting silence between friends and the tension of questions we both wanna ask, but can't. I#m swept once more into drowsiness, and I yawn.

Riddick sees. "Sleep," he tells me as he rises from my bed.

"You know I won't." I tell him, "Neither of us will."

I don't tell him I want him to stay, but I know he knows that that's what I'm asking. We won't sleep, can we at least keep each other company?

"This ain't what I know how to do, Jack."

"Kyra," I argue, but without the conviction I had once had.

"I liked Jack better."

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I'm a shit.

At least I can admit it.

I know why she told me what she told me. I told her somethin' 'bout me, she thinks that she's gotta tell me somethin' 'bout her.

I wanted answers. Now how the fuck do I give 'em back?

I asked if they were dead, because if they weren't, I would kill them myself. But hey, if they are, she killed them.

So no one's a winner, and either way, she gets hurt.

I slid my goggles back down over my eyes so that she can't see me. I always keep my goggles on when I don't want someone to know what I'm thinking

"Are you mad?"

Furious.

"Not at you."

At me.

I'm not mad that I left her on New Mecca…I'm mad that I knew her at all. Bad things happen to people who know me, the people I care about. That's always been the way. That's why I didn't want the kid to get attatched to me. It's why I tried like shit to make Carolyn hate me.

If I don't love them, they're safer.

It was a rule I always lived by, to never let myself get close to anyone. It's just that no one knew why. Shit, I don't even think I know all the reasons.

One of said reasons stretches beside me and yawns.

"Sleep," I tell her. I know she'll feel better if she can get some rest, but I know it'll be long in coming.

"You know I won't." she retorts, "Neither of us will."

She wants me to stay. She wants me to keep her nightmares away so that she can get some rest. She wants me to be her comfort.

"This ain't what I know how to do, Jack."

Comfort is somethin' you get from a soft bed and a soft body, and that ain't what I can give. Protection, sure, strength, whatever. I can give her anything a well wielded shiv can.

But I can't care for her.

"Kyra," She argues.

I stop on my way out of the door, but I don't turn around.

"I liked Jack better."

Because Jack I could save.

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EN – I know, it's pathetically short, but I just wanted to stick a new chapter up before the weekend. BTW, I'd like to take this opportunity to appologise profusely to anyone who's still waiting for a 'family' update. I swear, it will get done…eventually.

As always, if you like it, tell me! If you don't like it…well, tell me anyway.


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